This is nuts upon nuts. When's the crash?

Here’s where we’d normally add something pithy or sarky or whatever, but what more is there to say? Contact your Panmure representative for the full research.

Was the whole article an ad, or "paid content"? I saw no notice to that effect, but ethical standards have decayed somewhat lately.

TL;DR: modelling the stock market incorrectly with a normal distribution leads to the conclusion that the current circumstances arise once every 43 thousand years.