My Phone Will Spam You If I Fail to Exercise by 3PM

This sounds like a compelling idea on the surface but I feel like it’s reasoning is motivated by the self-saboteur lurking in the bowels of our psyche.

“I want you to be out of shape and lonesome. Just me and you kid, like the good old days; Ice cream pints and tortilla chips; a complimentary fleece blanket from an HMO”.